My Story

At  42, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. As a woman of Ashkenazi Jewish heritage, I am more likely to have a gene called BRCA2.  I had previously tested positive for the BRCA2 gene, which runs in my family because of my heritage. This put me at a higher risk for breast, ovarian, and pancreatic cancer.  This diagnosis came as a complete shock. My mindset then was that I knew I had no other choice but to undergo chemotherapy and radiation treatment in the fight for my life. While these things did help fight the breast cancer that was ravaging my body, I could never have expected what would have happened next: a medical complication from the treatment almost killed me, and I faced death in 2015. 

I was at a stage in my life where I was physically and emotionally devastated. During a hospital stay for a hysterectomy, I had lost my partner to suicide. My beautiful mother had passed away from ovarian cancer that metastasized to her stomach, while I survived and was filled with survivor’s guilt. I almost died from my stage 3 breast cancer and the associated treatments. I had two choices: I could crumble in despair, or I could aspire to a life of wellness. I am a thriver of breast cancer! I could believe that I had survived for a reason and that I was given a rebirth because I had something beautiful and important to share with the world.  

The cancer was a cruel and uninvited guest in my life, but it also opened an unexpected door for me: the chance to heal my body, mind, and soul post-chemotherapy, with alternative and non-traditional medicine. It became clear to me I survived for a reason - so I could be reborn and share my gifts with the world. I set my intentions to restore my health by looking into alternative retreats

At a family wedding, I met Isabel Cali, a shamanic practitioner and healer of California. I felt an instant connection to her and knew that our meeting was important. We felt like kindred spirits, and somehow our conversation led to the plant medicine work.  She shared about an upcoming retreat in the Amazon RainForest and I knew I had to go. 

That night, I read all about the 12 day plant medicine retreat in the Amazon rainforest of Ecuador. While I had never heard of ayahuasca, I felt an immediate connection to it!  The descriptions immediately captured my attention: these plant medicines cleanse the body and blood of disease.

I was still experiencing all the terrible side effects from the aftermath of all of the chemotherapy, radiation, mastectomy, and hysterectomy, and surgeries that my body had undergone. I felt the toxicity in my blood. I had night sweats, hot flashes, and could barely sleep.

It was like a war was being fought inside my body, and I wanted my blood to be cleansed of disease.

My doctor told me that I was finally out of the woods after four years of treatments, ten surgeries, and hospitalizations. I was cleared for travel and knew that this opportunity to take this treat was presented to me at the right moment.  The next day, I told Isabel “I’m in!” Three months later, I flew to Ecuador and hiked deep into the jungle to commune with the plants.

The retreat took place at Pasourcu Napusamai Lodge, an indigenous Kichwa family-run center. The center is run by Shamans,  Don Luis Andi, and his son Don Juan. They lead ayahuasca ceremonies and also work with other medicinal plants for individual treatments.  I had never heard of ayahuasca rituals before— much to the amusement of the others in the group! I felt held by the universe and jumped right in, participating in six ceremonies. 

During Don Luis’ ceremonial work, the hot flashes were pulled from my body and the toxins pulled from my blood. I began to experience true healing. Not only was the medicine healing my body, but I felt mental shifts as well: Don Juan helped me to open my heart and I was able to begin to work through the survivor’s guilt that had been weighing on my soul.

My eyes were opened up to a new way of living life, which meant fully living.

This type of healing felt so radically different from the cold, sterile treatments of western medicine. More than that, I knew the universe was looking out for me. I had been open to finding true  healing, and suddenly this path was presented to me. Now that I had experienced the  power of natural healing, I wanted to continue on this path. 

I continued my medicine work with Isabel at her healing center, Sacha, in San Marcos, La Laguna, Guatemala. Isabel has been my teacher and since June 2018, and I have so much gratitude and love for her. She is a source of inspiration, wisdom, and strength.  I have learned and continue to learn so much from her as I  journey down this  path of love and light.

My experience with sound healing ceremonies led me to a course in sound ceremony being offered at The Yoga Forest on Lake Atítlan, Guatemala. I was immersed in this course for two weeks learning many different instruments, this helped to integrate my medicine work. There I felt held by the teachers, and others  in the training. I was able to connect to the spiritual world and felt the love and light flow through me. It had been approaching one year since my mother passed away and during this training, I was able to connect to her, and my grandparents. 

They whispered to me, filled me with love, and gave me my purpose: I now knew what I was meant to do.

I left the retreat with three new crystal bowls and a newfound understanding of my mission, and my dharma. By accepting my trauma and losses, by allowing myself to “feel it to heal it”, I was able to start healing from the oppressive pain that had been weighing heavy on me for years. I was renewed. I knew that I had been shown ways to heal myself because I would be quick to share it with others. I had a beautiful secret, and I couldn’t wait to let others in!  

I am eternally grateful for the shamans, the plant medicine, and what happened next:  The medicine changed my path and saved my life. 

I know now I was called to this path to help others find healing and radiant joy. Even though I am playing for other people, I am still receiving the power of the crystal bowls and it helps me continue to heal. The incredible power of the healing bowls gave me a vision of helping others by playing for them, so they could experience the magic that I experienced. And this is the way we recover: we do what is necessary to survive, but we also find beauty and healing along the path, and sometimes in unexpected ways. 

We do what is logical— for me at that time, it was chemo and radiation— but we do these things alongside the healing powers of mother earth and father sky. We lift each other up and heal together. We share our healing, and we overcome the worst, together.  

I faced death, and it made me a stronger person, a better person. No bad day ever compares to the day that I looked in the face of death and wondered if I would ever see my children again.

The plant medicine work in Ecuador and Guatemala that cleansed my blood of disease set the course for the rest of my life. I have stepped into this path of healing and am never looking back. While my journey was very difficult, it was truly a gift and now I can help others. 

If you are reading this, the universe is connecting us for a reason.

With love, light, and joy!